Biography:
Stephen Lynch is an American singer and comedian, famous for his raunchy comic lyrics. He was born July 28, 1971 in Abington, Pennsylvania, but grew up in Saginaw, Michigan and attended Western Michigan University, where he learned to play guitar. He is a Tony nominee for his role as Robbie Hart in the Broadway musical, The Wedding Singer. Stephen married Erin Dwight in September of 2003.
Lynch has produced eight albums:
Live At XM Studios (Live concert available only on the XM Comedy channel, no CD release planned)
Read more on Last.fm
Other songs:
- 3 Balloons
- Dear Diary
- Dr.stephen
- Hair
- Half A Man
- If I Were Gay
- Peanuts
- Pierre
- Special Fred
- Vanilla Ice Cream
- Voices In My Head
- What If God Smoked Cannabis
- Whittlin Man
- A History Lesson
- A Month Dead
- Albino
- Almighty Malachi Professional Bowling God
- America
- Baby
- Beelz
- Best Friends Song
- Bitch
- Bowling Song
- Caught Me Spankin It
- Classic Rock Song
- Country Love Song
- Craig Christ
- D And D
- Delta Kai
- Dirty Sanchez
- Dnd
- Doing Acid At The Mall
- Down To The Old Pub Instead
- Drew Lynch Gary Foster
- Fishin Hole
- For Me
- Gangster Cowboy
- Gay
- Gerbil
- Grandfather Die
- Hallelujah
- Halloween
- Hermaphroditey
- In Defense Of A Peepshow Girl
- It Seems Last Night
- Jim Hensons Dead
- Kill A Kitten
- Little Tiny Moustache
- Medieval Bush
- Mixer At Delta Chi
- Not Home
- Peepshow Girl
- Prettier Than You
- Priest
- Queer Tattoo
- Shes Got A Smile
- Shes Gotta Smile
- Special
- Superhero
- Talk To Me
- Tattoo
- Tennessee
- The Ballad Of Scarface
- The Gathering
- The Night I Laid You Down
- Then She Farted
- Ugly Baby
- Waiting
- What If That Guy From Smashing Pumkins Lost His Car Keys
- When Grandfather Dies
- When Youre Not Home
- While Youre Away
- Whittilin Man
- You Caught Me Spankin It
- Youll Do
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Stephen:
I have to do the vocals for Medieval Bush.
Friends:
Why?
Stephen:
Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff
and the medieval period ended at the beginning
of the 16th century.
Friends:
So thats 1500's.
Wait! So how do you know this?
Stephen:
Cause I used to be a teacher.
Friends:
(Laugh)You used to be a teacher?
Stephen:
Yes.
Friends:
Professor?
Stephen:
No, I taught elementary school and I got fired
because I had an unorthodox way of teaching which
is I would bring in my guitar and...
I never told you this?
Friends:
No!
Stephen:
I would bring in my guitar and I would sing the
lessons to the children.
Friends:
Of course you did.
Stephen:
I am dead serious.
Friends:
Yes.
Stephen:
I am. Alright, alright hold on I'll give you one
of the... Let me remember.
Alright here's one I remember, okay?
This is Ben Franklin.
Am C 2x
Am C
Ben Franklin went out one night,
Am C
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Am C
Electricity struck so bright,
Dm Am (-> not sure about this one)
Write it down muthafuckas
Friends:
You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen:
Some of them were motherfuckers, yes.
Friends:
Science
Stephen:
Ummm... okay!
Am C
Issac Newton sat under a tree,
Am C
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Am C
Said holy shit that's gravity,
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen:
I have a million of these.
Friends:
Then why don't you do the pilgrims?
Stephen:
Okay... hey now and...
Am C
Pilgrims raced against the clock,
Am C
Looking for a place to dock,
Am C
They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas.
Friends:
I don't like the fact that you are implying that the
pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen:
I'm not implying anything.
Friend:
Wright Brothers.
Oooh that's a good one.
Stephen:
Uh...
Am C
A dude named Orville Wright,
Am C
Told his bro lets invent flight,
Am C
So Wilbur said "ight",
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen:
Yes, yes Wilbur said "ight"
Friend:
Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen:
In my story he did.
Friend:
Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen:
That's right.
Friend:
Word.
Stephen:
See, you can't stump me
Friend:
Slavery?
Stephen:
Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
Am C
Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
Am C
Freed slaves form the plantation,
Am C
Emanci-mothafuckin' proclamation,
Dm Am
Write it down ananem-ops.
Friend:
Gandhi!
Stephen:
Uh... I did not have a Ghandi one. Uh...
Alright hold on, hold on, hold on.
Gandhi... Uh... alright.
(Slowly)
Am C
Gandhi is what you said,
Am C
An Indian with a bald head,
Am C
And he was a bit under fed,
Dm Am
Write is down muthafuckas!
Stephen:
See?! Yeah! Fired from that job!
Friend:
Your a genius.
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
I think this is correct. If you don't think it sounds right,
by all means correct me. :-)
Enjoy the song!
I have to do the vocals for Medieval Bush.
Friends:
Why?
Stephen:
Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff
and the medieval period ended at the beginning
of the 16th century.
Friends:
So thats 1500's.
Wait! So how do you know this?
Stephen:
Cause I used to be a teacher.
Friends:
(Laugh)You used to be a teacher?
Stephen:
Yes.
Friends:
Professor?
Stephen:
No, I taught elementary school and I got fired
because I had an unorthodox way of teaching which
is I would bring in my guitar and...
I never told you this?
Friends:
No!
Stephen:
I would bring in my guitar and I would sing the
lessons to the children.
Friends:
Of course you did.
Stephen:
I am dead serious.
Friends:
Yes.
Stephen:
I am. Alright, alright hold on I'll give you one
of the... Let me remember.
Alright here's one I remember, okay?
This is Ben Franklin.
Am C 2x
Am C
Ben Franklin went out one night,
Am C
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Am C
Electricity struck so bright,
Dm Am (-> not sure about this one)
Write it down muthafuckas
Friends:
You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen:
Some of them were motherfuckers, yes.
Friends:
Science
Stephen:
Ummm... okay!
Am C
Issac Newton sat under a tree,
Am C
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Am C
Said holy shit that's gravity,
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen:
I have a million of these.
Friends:
Then why don't you do the pilgrims?
Stephen:
Okay... hey now and...
Am C
Pilgrims raced against the clock,
Am C
Looking for a place to dock,
Am C
They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas.
Friends:
I don't like the fact that you are implying that the
pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen:
I'm not implying anything.
Friend:
Wright Brothers.
Oooh that's a good one.
Stephen:
Uh...
Am C
A dude named Orville Wright,
Am C
Told his bro lets invent flight,
Am C
So Wilbur said "ight",
Dm Am
Write it down muthafuckas
Stephen:
Yes, yes Wilbur said "ight"
Friend:
Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen:
In my story he did.
Friend:
Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen:
That's right.
Friend:
Word.
Stephen:
See, you can't stump me
Friend:
Slavery?
Stephen:
Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well...
Am C
Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
Am C
Freed slaves form the plantation,
Am C
Emanci-mothafuckin' proclamation,
Dm Am
Write it down ananem-ops.
Friend:
Gandhi!
Stephen:
Uh... I did not have a Ghandi one. Uh...
Alright hold on, hold on, hold on.
Gandhi... Uh... alright.
(Slowly)
Am C
Gandhi is what you said,
Am C
An Indian with a bald head,
Am C
And he was a bit under fed,
Dm Am
Write is down muthafuckas!
Stephen:
See?! Yeah! Fired from that job!
Friend:
Your a genius.
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
I think this is correct. If you don't think it sounds right,
by all means correct me. :-)
Enjoy the song!
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