Biography:
Jon Lajoie, born and raised in Montreal, Canada, is the third in a family of nine children. He graduated from Dawson College’s theatre/ninja assassin program in 2001, and immediately started booking assassination work, incidentally putting his acting career on the back burner. Between 2001 and 2007 Jon Lajoie assassinated (in a ninja-like fashion) an estimated 40 000 people, and an estimated 9000 fish (in early 2004 demand for assassination was low, so for 3 months, he held a part-time job as a fisherman).
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Four years of hard work!This month of May we celebrated four years on the air. We continue working on the dissemination of this wonderful instrument, thank you for participating in our story!
I tried my best to as accurately write this out as possible. Just strum to the beat.
If this isnt done in a way that everyone understands or doesnt measure up to
"format" here I apologize, this is my first submission to the site.
Also, I apologize if my French is not up to snuff ;)
Verses:
Am Am
Mc Confusing back in this bitch
F E
With a parking sandwhich and a chicken ticket
Dm Dm
I got a liquid facelift from a fig with big tits
E E
And my wrist got twisted by a britt with fig spit
Am Am
And you don't understand it cause you're not supposed to
F E
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
Dm Dm
And I'm gonna leave soon, but first I need to
E E
Drink a Chevy Chase Face and rape Robocop 2
Am Am
Yo I'm MC Historical Inaccuracy
F E
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in '73
Dm Dm
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Franks Diary
E E
Which is about the Civil War from 1812 and Germany
Am Am
I'm like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus
F E
And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis
Dm Dm
Like Moses when I focus I can split the Red Sea
E E
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army
Am Am
I'm MC Don't Know How To Pluralize Word(s)
F E
I've got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
Dm Dm
When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize
E E
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive
Am Am
Hello, I'm MC Canadian Stereotype
F E
I'm aboot to get started, so let me get off the ice
Dm Dm
But I don't want any trouble and I'm always polite
E E
Now hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
Am Am
But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
F E
Et j'vais dire une phrase en francias, parce qui'ici on est bilingue
Dm Dm
Oh boy I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
E E
Let's go to the hospital, don't worry here in Canada it's free, eh
Am Am
MC Fatigue did you miss me
F E
I'll be awake five minutes cause I had a coffee
Dm Dm
I'll try to get through my verse, but I really don't know
E E
I had that coffee about five minutes ago
CHORUS:
Am F
They hired me again to sing this mother fuckin chorus!
Dm
I haven't found a fuckin job yet
E
So I have to do this bull shit (I can't take it I'm done)
Am F
I don't think I can sing another fuckin chorus!
Dm
I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge
E
Or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did (I think my dad has a gun)
Verses:
Am Am
I'm MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees
F E
50 miles an hour is their average speed
Dm Dm
A queen can lay up to 3,000 eggs in a day
E E
Just cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay
Am Am
I'm also MC In The Closet Homosexual
F E
I hide it cause it's easier to be heterosexual
Dm Dm
We can't even get married in most states here in America
E E
it's fucked up(MC Canadian Stereotype: Gay marriage is legal here in Canada)
Am Am
I'm MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole
F E
Being gay is evil and it is unnatural
Dm Dm
Jesus said to love thy neighbor, but only if they are straight
E E
Penises go in viginas anything else is just insane
Am Am
I'm Mc Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes
F E
I shake things up like J. Fox when I get on the Mic
Dm Dm
And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve's horse
E E
Then I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course
Am Am
WOAH, I'm MC Extremely Politically Correct
F E
I disagree with the last MC's Lyrical content
Dm Dm
It was: offensive, insensitive, and in very bad taste
E E
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away
Am Am
Yo, MC Final Verse here to end the song
F E
One was enough we didn't need a sequel Jon
Dm Dm
Make a fourth "Show Me Your Genitals" or another "Normal Guy"
E E
But for now lets end this stupid song with a suicide
Chorus:
Am F
This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus!
Dm
My dad's gun was in his closet
E
And I'm gonna end this bull shit (I had a good run)
Am F
I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finish the chorus!
Dm
Syanora and farewell
E
Guess I'll see you all in Hell (4,3,2,1)
Am
If this isnt done in a way that everyone understands or doesnt measure up to
"format" here I apologize, this is my first submission to the site.
Also, I apologize if my French is not up to snuff ;)
Verses:
Am Am
Mc Confusing back in this bitch
F E
With a parking sandwhich and a chicken ticket
Dm Dm
I got a liquid facelift from a fig with big tits
E E
And my wrist got twisted by a britt with fig spit
Am Am
And you don't understand it cause you're not supposed to
F E
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
Dm Dm
And I'm gonna leave soon, but first I need to
E E
Drink a Chevy Chase Face and rape Robocop 2
Am Am
Yo I'm MC Historical Inaccuracy
F E
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in '73
Dm Dm
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Franks Diary
E E
Which is about the Civil War from 1812 and Germany
Am Am
I'm like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus
F E
And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis
Dm Dm
Like Moses when I focus I can split the Red Sea
E E
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army
Am Am
I'm MC Don't Know How To Pluralize Word(s)
F E
I've got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
Dm Dm
When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize
E E
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive
Am Am
Hello, I'm MC Canadian Stereotype
F E
I'm aboot to get started, so let me get off the ice
Dm Dm
But I don't want any trouble and I'm always polite
E E
Now hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
Am Am
But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
F E
Et j'vais dire une phrase en francias, parce qui'ici on est bilingue
Dm Dm
Oh boy I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
E E
Let's go to the hospital, don't worry here in Canada it's free, eh
Am Am
MC Fatigue did you miss me
F E
I'll be awake five minutes cause I had a coffee
Dm Dm
I'll try to get through my verse, but I really don't know
E E
I had that coffee about five minutes ago
CHORUS:
Am F
They hired me again to sing this mother fuckin chorus!
Dm
I haven't found a fuckin job yet
E
So I have to do this bull shit (I can't take it I'm done)
Am F
I don't think I can sing another fuckin chorus!
Dm
I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge
E
Or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did (I think my dad has a gun)
Verses:
Am Am
I'm MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees
F E
50 miles an hour is their average speed
Dm Dm
A queen can lay up to 3,000 eggs in a day
E E
Just cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay
Am Am
I'm also MC In The Closet Homosexual
F E
I hide it cause it's easier to be heterosexual
Dm Dm
We can't even get married in most states here in America
E E
it's fucked up(MC Canadian Stereotype: Gay marriage is legal here in Canada)
Am Am
I'm MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole
F E
Being gay is evil and it is unnatural
Dm Dm
Jesus said to love thy neighbor, but only if they are straight
E E
Penises go in viginas anything else is just insane
Am Am
I'm Mc Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes
F E
I shake things up like J. Fox when I get on the Mic
Dm Dm
And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve's horse
E E
Then I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course
Am Am
WOAH, I'm MC Extremely Politically Correct
F E
I disagree with the last MC's Lyrical content
Dm Dm
It was: offensive, insensitive, and in very bad taste
E E
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away
Am Am
Yo, MC Final Verse here to end the song
F E
One was enough we didn't need a sequel Jon
Dm Dm
Make a fourth "Show Me Your Genitals" or another "Normal Guy"
E E
But for now lets end this stupid song with a suicide
Chorus:
Am F
This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus!
Dm
My dad's gun was in his closet
E
And I'm gonna end this bull shit (I had a good run)
Am F
I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finish the chorus!
Dm
Syanora and farewell
E
Guess I'll see you all in Hell (4,3,2,1)
Am
Jonah
Jonas Blue
Jonas Brothers
Jonathan Boulet
Jonathan Clay