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Hello Dan it's Joe here I hope you're keeping well it’s the 1st of December
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Now theyre ringing the last bell if I get good behaviour I'll be out of here by July
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Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas day please don't let them cry
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I guess the brothers are driving down from Queensland Stella's flying in from the coast
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They say it's gonna be 1 deg even more maybe but that won't stop the roast
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Who's gonna make the gravy I bet it won't taste the same just add flour salt
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A little red wine and don't forget a dollop of tomato sauce for sweetness
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And that extra tang and give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly
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Tell 'em all I'm sorry I screwed up this time and look after Rita
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I'll be thinking of her early Christmas morning when I'm standing in line
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I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend I hope he can hold his own
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D’you remember the last one what was his name again Just a little too much cologne
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And Roger you know I'm even gonna miss Roger
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Cause there's sure as hell no one in here I wanna fight
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Oh praise the Baby Jesus have a Merry Christmas I'm really gonna miss it
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All the treasure and the trash and later in the evening I can just imagine
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You'll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back and you'll dance with Rita
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I know you really like her just don't hold her too close oh brother please don't
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Stab me in the back I didn't mean to say that it's just my mind it plays up
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Multiplies each matter turns imagination into fact you know I love her badly
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She's the one to save me I'm gonna make some gravy I'm gonna taste the fat
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Tell her that I'm sorry yeah I love her badly tell 'em all I'm sorry
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And kiss the sleepy children for me you know one of these days I'll be making gravy
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I'll be making plenty I'm gonna pay 'em all back