Biography:
Roy Zimmerman is a guitarist/songwriter/satirist who founded the Southern California folk quartet The Foremen. The quartet pulled off the remarkable feat of performing at the national conventions of both major American political parties in 1996. The Foremen continued on for a short time after Zimmerman went on to become a solo act, writing and performing topical songs on subjects ranging from Martha Stewart to supermodels to television to religious fundamentalism to the state of the country and the world.
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If you have a harmonica... well... that can liven it up a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOm0yQXSzyY
Capo 5 (Roy plays it on capo 6, but do whatever you can sing to). He also throws a hammer on the C chords.
Same chord progression throughout.
[Verse 1]
C F C
There's a turkey a gobblin' out in the yard
F G
Now he's gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charred
F C F Am G
And your father is whistlin' and washin' the blood down the drain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 2]
C F C
There's a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws
F G
With a keen disregard for the forestry laws
F C F Am G
And they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 3]
C F C
And the stockings are hung by the chimney with care
F G
As if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em there
F C F Am G
And some tired old crooner is croakin' out carols again
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 4]
C F C
And you wait for an hour to see Santa Claus
F G
And he's covered with velveteen, bourbon and gauze
F C F Am G
And he pinches your mother and she can't find the words to explain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 5]
C F C
And the hungry are hungering on Hunger Street
F G
While the people on Plenty Street . . . eat
F C F Am G
And you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 6]
C F C
And all the good cheer is just Madison Ave..news
F G
And all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews
F C F Am G
And the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 7]
C F C
And two-thirds of the world doesn't give half a damn
F G
And the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams
F C F Am G
And if Jesus was here, he'd be sent to the back of the train
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 8]
C F C
And they double the price of whatever you need
F G
Singin', "I pledge allegiance to corporate greed"
F C F Am G
And you're forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorraine
G
who's insane
G
with a brain on a plane to Spain
G
where the main stays rainly in the flat terrain
C
Christmas is pain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOm0yQXSzyY
Capo 5 (Roy plays it on capo 6, but do whatever you can sing to). He also throws a hammer on the C chords.
Same chord progression throughout.
[Verse 1]
C F C
There's a turkey a gobblin' out in the yard
F G
Now he's gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charred
F C F Am G
And your father is whistlin' and washin' the blood down the drain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 2]
C F C
There's a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws
F G
With a keen disregard for the forestry laws
F C F Am G
And they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 3]
C F C
And the stockings are hung by the chimney with care
F G
As if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em there
F C F Am G
And some tired old crooner is croakin' out carols again
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 4]
C F C
And you wait for an hour to see Santa Claus
F G
And he's covered with velveteen, bourbon and gauze
F C F Am G
And he pinches your mother and she can't find the words to explain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 5]
C F C
And the hungry are hungering on Hunger Street
F G
While the people on Plenty Street . . . eat
F C F Am G
And you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 6]
C F C
And all the good cheer is just Madison Ave..news
F G
And all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews
F C F Am G
And the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 7]
C F C
And two-thirds of the world doesn't give half a damn
F G
And the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams
F C F Am G
And if Jesus was here, he'd be sent to the back of the train
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 8]
C F C
And they double the price of whatever you need
F G
Singin', "I pledge allegiance to corporate greed"
F C F Am G
And you're forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorraine
G
who's insane
G
with a brain on a plane to Spain
G
where the main stays rainly in the flat terrain
C
Christmas is pain
Royal Hunt
Royal Kimes Wade
Royal Pirates
Royal Thunder
Royal Trux